Sunday , 24 June 2018
This Just In...
Home >> Genius Relationships >> How To Trust Again

How To Trust Again

holding a heart

“Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships.” – Stephen Covey

Most of us would agree to this statement. But I bet you have felt like your trust has been compromised at some point in life. Needless to say, these experiences can be very painful. Perhaps we’re still scared to trust again. Sometimes you even question “Who can I really trust? How do I know I can trust this person?”

But trust is one of those things that we can’t just skip over. It’s a crucial ingredient in any relationship, some call it the foundation.

If we want to experience peace and happiness, then we must learn how to trust.

Let’s start off with the undeniable truth: we all have reasons not to trust. What I mean by this is that we’ve all felt hurt, disappointed, rejected, scared, and abandoned. We have all suffered in some way, and we have all felt pain in relationships.

We’re all in the same boat. I say this because it’s comforting to realize that we’re not alone. (We’re in this together people!) We’ve all been hurt, and we’re all trying to avoid that happening again.

Usually the way we try to avoid being hurt in relationships is by holding-off on trusting until we know we are safe. Trusting becomes a mechanism of protection if the person “earns our trust” then we will gladly give it to them. And this is the problem, because there are never any guarantees. Computers come with guarantees not people 🙂

I wish I could tell you otherwise but the truth is that disappointment, rejection, fear, and abandonment are all part of the deal in relationships. We feel these feelings regardless of who we are with. Not because we are with untrustworthy people, but because we are humans.

You have to realize that trust is not about finding the perfect, trustworthy person; it’s about signing-up to work through hurt when it arises.

If we relate to trust through this perspective then trusting becomes much easier. All of the sudden we shift from trying to avoid being hurt (which is impossible), to recognizing that we can move through anything that comes our way. This helps us feel empowered (aka a little more trusting and a little less fearful).

When we use past experiences as reasons not to trust again, then we are really only hurting ourselves. Again, we all have reasons not to trust. We all have a long list! But walling ourselves off from each other only perpetuates the problem, this does not keep us safe; it keeps us lonely.

So if you are scared to trust, what can you do?

Simple. You can make an informed decision and go for it.

That’s right. Jump in and have faith.

If we trust ourselves first and foremost, it allows us to deal with the mistakes of others with a little more grace and ease. If you know that no matter what your partner does, no matter what challenges arise, you are going to be OK, then trusting is going to be easier to do.

You recognize that trust isn’t about never feeling another negative emotion again; it’s about knowing that you can handle anything that comes your way. This is real trust (it’s commonly referred to as faith).

Trust that. Believe that. Know that.

When you do, you will be able to offer trust to others too, and it will serve as the foundation for many long-lasting, loving relationships to firmly build upon.

When you decide to trust someone it means that you believe in that person’s integrity. Trusting is knowing that ultimately this person’s intentions are good. And it also means that you know that they are going to make mistakes.

When we’re scared, we make mistakes (by mistakes I mean we hurt others, we don’t act in our highest integrity). Fear makes us do some crazy s#*t. And if you’re being honest with yourself, you know that you’ve done some crazy s#*t. It’s unfortunate but true.

If we could collectively realize this and approach others with compassion when they are wigging out, rather than condemnation, this world would be a completely different place (and our relationships would definitely be filled with a lot more trust).

If we trust ourselves first and foremost, it allows us to deal with the mistakes of others with a little more grace and ease. If you know that no matter what your partner does, no matter what challenges arise, you are going to be OK, then trusting is going to be easier to do.

About Genius Awakening

Genius Awakening was created to lead people to a better understanding of self and others in order to navigate our world at a higher and more awakened level of being. Together we will explore the depths of consciousness in order to evolve beyond our current paradigms into a world of love, joy and peace. Oksana and Larry Ostrovsky are passionate guides of this space.
  • cornishfaerie

    “Most of us would agree to this statement.”

    Most are too trusting to begin with. I know, I know, in social affairs it is important but it isn’t only social affairs and even then if you trust too easily you’re bound to cause yourself grief.

    “But I bet you have felt like your trust has been compromised at some point in life.”

    The issue is – as above – too many blindly trust anyone and everyone unless there is a real reason not to (in which case you’re doing what most everyone else is doing and consequently it is different).

    “We have all suffered in some way, and we have all felt pain in relationships.”

    Sure – for those who do relate with others. Perhaps it is unfair of me to be critical here because I really don’t fit in this group, but the fact remains it isn’t 100% true (MOST have but not all).

    “Fear makes us do some crazy s#*t. And if you’re being honest with
    yourself, you know that you’ve done some crazy s#*t. It’s unfortunate
    but true.”

    Perhaps. But it isn’t necessarily fear, either. “Crazy sh#*t” is putting it quite nicely but I don’t find it unfortunate. If someone does something that seriously irks me then they have themselves to blame, not the other way around (and it goes both ways too: if I seriously irk someone then I have myself to blame). Furthermore, I’m not perfect, I’m a twisted, dark individual and it is part of who I am (and I find the latter bit amusing and a positive… I can laugh at the most horrible things and myself, always, without fail, and laughter is therapy… especially laughter at yourself – endless stream of laughter). I’ll not apologise at this, ever. I usually mean well but when I don’t it is for a reason (sure there is the occasion where something comes out as the opposite of what I meant but again, the idea of deeming one perfect is lying to oneself – deal with it responsibly and move on, that’s all there is to it). (Yes, I readily admit I am ignoring some context here but the point is there is far more to this all than “fear” and “action”… then consider that each “action” can have multiple causes, sometimes simultaneously). I would argue that the best way of putting this is: fear is an emotion and emotion does not mix with logic. So the fact someone acts when afraid.. it isn’t surprising that it doesn’t always end up well. (You shouldn’t apologise for this either… sure, apologise for what harm you might have caused but don’t apologise for being human and making a mistake… learn from it and then it is more positive than it would be.)

    “If we could collectively realize this and approach others with
    compassion when they are wigging out, rather than condemnation, this
    world would be a completely different place (and our relationships would
    definitely be filled with a lot more trust).”

    Physics has certain limitations. This is similar.

    “If we trust ourselves first and foremost, it allows us to deal with the mistakes of others with a little more grace and ease.”
    I wish I could do this but it is a huge mistake for me – and this isn’t at all incorrect, it is absolutely true – to even dare trust myself. Again, ignoring context on that. But yes you’re right.. if you cannot trust yourself who can you trust, as they ask? But I think it a mistake to trust yourself without failure. Not trusting yourself all the time is a good thing. Keyword is ‘all’ as in not ‘always’ trusting yourself. Some of the time when you are unsure of your decision it is actually that you are (trying to) protect yourself (and/or others). It might even be you’re protecting those you hold most dear to your heart.

  • Pingback: Blue Coaster33()

  • Pingback: weight loss techniques()

  • Pingback: free movie downloads()

  • Pingback: watch movies online free()

  • Pingback: watch tv show episodes()

  • Pingback: watch movies online free()

  • Pingback: water ionizers()

  • Pingback: alkaline water()

  • Pingback: kangen()

  • Pingback: kangen water()

  • Pingback: How to Unblock Viber in UAE Dubai()

  • Pingback: light gloves()

  • Pingback: best online casinos()

  • Pingback: payday loans no credit check direct lender()

  • Pingback: get satellite tv()

  • Pingback: Direct TV vs Cable TV()

  • Pingback: 3gp mobile porn()

  • Pingback: lan her og nu()

  • Pingback: parking()

  • Pingback: water ionizer()

  • Pingback: laan penge nu sms()

  • Pingback: alkaline water benefits()

  • Pingback: water ionizer pay plan loans()

  • Pingback: alkaline water brands()

  • Pingback: pay per day loan plans()

  • Pingback: parking()

  • Pingback: rubber electrician gloves()

  • Pingback: electrician vs plumber video()

  • Pingback: locksmiths billings mt()

  • Pingback: plumbing companies charlotte nc()

  • Pingback: Payday loans()

  • Pingback: house blue()

  • Pingback: j bradley electrician()

  • Pingback: best electrician apps()

  • Pingback: HD Coloring Pages()

  • Pingback: plan()

  • Pingback: ionizer loans()

  • Pingback: water ionizer()

  • Pingback: alkaline water()