People want to be happy, but happiness is a tricky thing. While everyone wants to be content and fulfilled, they may be overlooking simple things that they do that actually get in the way of happiness and keep the unhappiness train rolling on. Social media only makes it easier to access other people’s digital lives and compare them to our own. However, there may be a way out. Here are 4 things that we pursue that are pretty much guaranteed to make us unhappy.
Seeking The Approval Of Others
Like it or not, we’re all sometimes guilty of relying too much on outside opinions to feed our feelings of self worth. While approval and compliments from others can feel great, seeking them all the time is unhealthy and destined to turn into a self-fulfilling cycle of negative feelings. After all, positive feedback from others happens, but not all the time. The key is to start caring about what you think far more than others. If your sense of importance or self esteem is based on others, you’re left feeling empty. Lacking that generation of worth from self feels terrible, but it can be fixed. Stop relying on others to provide you with that boost and start worrying about your own approval. Are you doing things that you want to be doing? Have you let some passions and hobbies fall by the wayside? When you start on a voyage of self discovery and pursue what you want to do, you take ownership of your life and begin to realize that it matters what you think about you. You’ll start feeling happier because you’re not relying on others to provide you with positivity, you’re generating it all on your own.
Needing To Feel Superior
Sure, everyone wants to feel like they’re the prettiest, richest, and most desirable in a room. But that can’t always happen, and more than that, it’s your ego talking. The ego wants self worth and respect wherever it can get it, and it usually tries to get that worth from superficial things such as outside beauty, social status, financial holdings, and sex appeal. Sure, all these things are great, but you can have all of these things and never be happy. Worse, if you’re basing your feelings of worth off of what you have or what you believe you are, you’ll never really appreciate that just being you is enough. Comparing yourself to others isn’t the way to get ahead. Reaching your goals is important in life, but more important is being happy. Drop the contest of who has what and try to learn to connect to yourself and just be happy being you. Your life won’t become a constant competition, and you’ll be happier on a far deeper level than your ego could ever give.
Chasing After Money
Many people believe that once they have reached a certain amount of money, they’ll be able to finally relax and be happy. While that would be nice, how many millionaires or billionaires have you heard proclaim that the money was nice, but was really nice was the fact that they are finally happy? Exactly. Because making ends meet and not having enough money causes so much stress, people naturally believe that if they get enough, all of their worries will disappear. Money can’t buy happiness. Happiness is a state that is achieved when what you want and what you are doing are in union. More money will take away the stress of having to pay bills, but ultimately it is not a source of happiness in and of itself. It is what you do and how you spend your time that ultimately will generate happiness. Personal problems, relationships, and love all exist whether you have millions in the bank or nothing. Focus on making enough money so that you have some to put away and ease the stress of trying to have enough. Beyond that, don’t look to the future or money to make you happy. It can’t.
Waiting To Be Happy In The Future
Waiting to be happy in the future is a common practice, but it’s a trap. The future is just present moments that have not yet happened. You always operate in the present moment. The only time that exists is now. So if you are waiting to do the things that make you happy or for happiness to happen in the future, you are always going to be disappointed. There is only ever the moment at hand, the now. If you want to be happy, do the things that make you happy, and do them now. It’s the only time you ever have. Don’t think that next year or the next month you’ll be happy. Go after happiness now. You’ll have a much better chance of catching it.